My last day after almost 15 years in corporate America was on April 27th. In a couple days I will be moving to Haiti.
This past month I have sold or given away most everything and started saying my goodbyes. I have spent time with family and friends that lift me up and encourage me as I prepare to leave.
A question I have been getting a lot is “how are you feeling?” As I am sure you can imagine there are lots of waves of emotions that come with change like this: excited, expectant, anxious, fear of disappointment, and rejection.
Oh, and the lies the enemy will try to tell you about yourself to make you doubt if this is really what I am supposed to be doing. The greatest battle I face somedays is just in my mind. So, it’s been important to stay prayed up and to spend time daily with the One who left heaven for me and died for me without even knowing if I would accept His sacrifice.
Letting His love fill me up to over-flowingly remind me who I am. He gets me. I am made in His image, his daughter, I am called, my sins are forgiven, and I can do this.
There are so many questions I don’t have the answers to yet.
How am I going eat?
In Charlotte, I don’t really know how to cook. So cooking in Haiti will be interesting. In India, I was fortunate enough to have a roommate who loved to make me breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Driving in Haiti looks a lot like driving in India so let’s pray I don’t hurt someone or myself. I have a hard enough time in traffic on Independence Blvd!
What if I get sick?
Here, if I get sick I can just get in my car and go to the CVS. This isn’t really an option over on the island of Hispaniola. So, I’ll be googling home remedies and bringing a suitcase full of vitamin C, for sure.
Will I make friends easily?
I have lived with my best friend for the last 7 years. Basically, a common law marriage. Now I will be living with a lot of people I don’t know. I sort of picture something like The Real World-Haiti but without all the alcohol and a lot more of Jesus.
This is not easy for me because I like answers. Unfortunately faith and my spiritual growth process is not like a math problem. There is no formula to it. It’s not something I always see immediately.
But as I grow closer to Jesus and reflect on how much he has already done for me I can rest in the fact that I don’t have to know how and when; I know who. That’s when the God who provides and protects whispers to me, “Baby girl, this is what I made you for. Walk in it.”
So, I do what I know and let Him take care of the rest. I keep going in response to His love for me. That doesn’t mean I still don’t struggle.
If anything, those feelings of doubt and fear get stronger as the calling He has placed on my life gets closer. But I just keep moving because if the oceans obey his commands, so will I.
Here’s to living loved, past my potential, and doing it afraid.
As I begin to transition over the next few weeks please pray for my heart, traveling mercies, and getting settled in my new home. I love you all and couldn’t do any of this without ya’ll.